The Original Team Kakashi
by Fire Breathing Chinchillas
Summary: Rin's Captured, And That Leaves Kakashi Alone On His Team. Since Konaha Is Short On Jonin, Kakashi Now Has To Babysit His Own Genin Team. He Needs To Turn These LOSERS In To Fearsom Ninja! HaHaHa! Good Luck Kakashi!
1. A Capture! A Team! And Schizophrenia?

Rated T for Language... If this can count a K Please Tell me Thanx!

Disclaimer: I own Naruto (in my dreams) If I did, Hinata would have already kissed Naruto, and she would be a main character, and a lot of other crazy crap. Any-who! On with the story!

**Chapter 1: A Capture! A Team! And Schizophrenia?**

"Rin!" Kakashi screamed as the unconscious Rin was taken away by a group of Earth Ninja. 'The White Fang's Brat', as they called him, tried to run after her, but every time he took a step closer they seemed to get farther away, until they disappeared into the forest.

Even long after Rin was out of sight, Kakashi still followed the direction they were heading.

'Rin. Not Rin too.' Kakashi wiped tears from his eyes as he ran.

Suddenly a yellow flash appeared in front of him, blocking his path. It said, "Kakashi. If you go any further, you'll be leaving the Fire Country's borders."

"B-but Rin," he hesitated, "she's-"

"She's a prisoner of war now. These are the risks of being in a shinobi war. These are the risks of the life of a shinobi," The student and his master locked eyes, "It can't be helped."

"Can't you save her, Minato-sensei? Please! I don't want Rin to die!" The white-haired boy thrashed his arm against a nearby tree.

"Kakashi! Calm down! She won't die, I swear on my life." Minato put his hands into the tiger sign, and he left with a plume of smoke.

Kakashi was left there, alone. He did something no Jonin would ever do.Pathetically, he sat down with his knees to his chest, and wept.

_---------_

Kakashi's mind drifted to an eternal plain. He was wandering along the grassy field for quite a while, until he finally shouted into the bliss, "Hello? Anyone?"

A pink haired girl(we all know who) walked out of the misty background, "Kakashi-sens- I mean Kakashi, What's up?"

The boy looked up at her, "Who are you?"

"Why," She rustled his hair, "you're so cute when you're little!"

He knocked her hand away, "Come on who are you?!?"

"I'm your conscience!" She stuck out her fist, "Cha!"

"Then why were you about to call me sensei? And you don't even look like me!" He glared at her.

Whoever she was, knelt down so she was at eye level with him, "Because, I'm going to be the schizophrenic personality of one of your students."

"I'm going to have a student with personality issues?"

"Not exactly. Now shut up, let me get to the point, and stop asking questions!"

"But-" Kakashi started, only to be cut of by a fist to his face.

"Cha! Serves you right! Now listen! When you find out the truth about Rin, don't tell anyone. Telling anyone could... actually **will** rage a full out war between the six- er five shinobi nations."

"Six?" little Kakashi inquired, only to be hit again."To think, this is going to be my student." Realizing what he had just said, Kakashi cringed in fear of being hit again.

Her fist never came though. Just her voice, "No, just the alternate personality of one. The other one's the coolest emotional wreck in Konaha, the other, other, one's Konaha's #1 loudmouth-ninja, and me, the schizophrenic cherry blossom!" She laughed.

"And somehow, I get you all to work together, and we live happily ever after?" Asked Kakashi in his most sarcastic voice.

The girl sweatdroped, "Well... no. The emotional one runs off and- You know what? You'll find out eventually."

"Well why don't you just tell me now?" He sat down.

"Because you're laying on a hospital bed, unconscious, with the two Hyuuga boys on the brink of strangling each other. Well the strangling would be pretty much one-sided. So," The girl snapped her fingers. Suddenly, a guy with a bowl cut, and green spandex, came in yelling 'Dynamic Entry.'

'This dream is starting to get really weird... hmm dream,' Kakashi pinched himself, 'I didn't feel anything... I'll figure out how to get out... somehow... coffee tends to keep me up at night.' Suddenly a cup of coffee appeared next to him, "Bah, dreams." He shook his head and drank the coffee with pleasure. 'Too bad it's just a dream, this stuff is good.'

---------

**IF YOU KNOW WHAT SCHIZOPHRENIA IS SKIP THIS!!**

_**schizophrenia noun**_ _a long-term mental disorder involving faulty perception, and withdrawal from reality into fantasy and delusion. _

_-ORIGIN Latin, from Greek _skhizein _'to split' _phr[n _'mind'_.

**Basically, It's when you have a split personality. The girl was the 'Inner Sakura'**

---------

Back in reality, two identical boys were standing next to Kakashi, arguing over fate.

"It wasn't fate! It was simple statistics!" One of them yelled to the other.

"Statistics had nothing to with it. I was destined to be on your team." The other calmly said.

"You think you're so mature with your emotionlessness, fate... crap! I hope you just go and **die** some day! Then Hell can keep you warm, and people in this world don't have to!" The first one, -Hiashi, apparently- said.

"Your emotions will always get in the way when fighting." Insistently stated what he figured was Hizashi.

"Where am I?" Kakashi looked around. He was in a hospital room, just like that schizophrenic(Sorry I Just Love That Word) girl said.

"He's awake..." whispered Hizashi.

"No Shit! Hi, er, Kakashi, right? Were two of your new team. Students to be exact." Hiashi smiled.

"S-students! B-but I'm l-like what?! Twelve?!" The new team leader almost had a heart attack.

"Yeah, but It'll be a lot more fun with a Jonin our age!" Said a cheerful voice. A girl that looked very similar to the girl in his dream, jumped through the window, "Cha!"

"Tsubaki. Why were you so late!?! We can't leave you for **five** minutes without you getting lost?" Both of the Hyuuga boys ranted. When one of them noticed that she wasn't wearing her forehead protector, they nudged the other in the stomach. The other one nodded, and said, "Tsubaki? Why aren't you wearing your forehead protector?" Asked Hizashi

"What? I am," She tilted her head forward to show that her normal headband had been replaced by a blue cloth with a metal Konaha protector plate, "just not like everyone else. Pretty cool huh?"

The Hyuuga twins looked at each other, and, for the first time, suddenly broke out in laughter. The irritated Kakashi grabbed a kunai out of his jonin vest pocket, and threw it across the boy's faces, "STOP!! You two are so immature!"

"Yosh! (Yes she did just say that) Don't be so harsh. We're gonna be immature, we're gonna laugh, we're god damned twelve year olds!" Squalled the kunoichi.

Hiashi leaned in closer to Hizashi, "I think Kakashi and Tsubaki are PMSing." The two giggled like little school girls.

Tsubaki overheard what the two boys were saying and gruntly whispered, "So what if I am?" Which made the twins laugh harder.

Kakashi jumped out of his bed, and landed in front of his students. He said in his harshest voice, "You aren't playful little kids anymore! You're **my **solders now!" Immediately all three of them stiffened up, "Now, you're all fresh out of the academy right?" the three of them nodded, "So you haven't had your genin entrance exam yet?" In unison the all shook their heads.

He looked over his students. The girl, Tsubaki, wore a long-sleeve pink shirt with white circles on her sleeves, obviously a clan symbol. She wore a long pink skirt, with the same symbol. The skirt was being held up by a white belt. She had green eyes, and neck-length pink hair. Kakashi quickly made note of her pink obsession.

The Hyuuga boys looked exactly the same. _They_ both wore a tan kimono, and _their_ hair was longer than most girls he knew, It was also well conditioned. Once again he made a mental note. _They_ wore blue pants with a kunai pouches attached to their left legs._They_ both had lavender eyes, and dark brown hair. And _they_ had the same monotonous expression on at all times. '_Jeez. No individuality._'

"I might as well get to know you guys... err you," he pointed to the pink haired girl, "tell me about yourself. You know, your likes, dislikes, dreams, shoe sizes. That kind of thing."

"My name is Hanaro Tsubaki. I like flowers, the color pink, dangos. But most of all, I like following people around, throwing kunai at them with threatening notes on them. I dislike, fanboys, them," she pointed at the two boys sitting next to her, "dogs, and hedge clippers. My dream is ... is to create an ultimate jutsu, so my clan can be famous too! And 7 ½.." She smiled a confidant smile.

"Okay... now... er... you!" He randomly pointed to one of the boys, "So I can tell you two apart, take your forehead protector off, and... tie it around your neck." The kid that Kakashi pointed at took his protector off, and wore it around his neck, "Good. Now tell me about yourself."

"I'm Hyuuga Hiashi. I like things that are green," he looked at Tsubaki's eyes, and she blushed ever so slightly, "I'm usually called hyper, and a loudmouth, and my dad says I'll amount to nothing if I'm like this forever. I just want to make him proud of me though..." He looked away as his voice trailed off. It seemed to form an incoharent mummble of a number, but no one understood.

Kakashi looked at the other Hyuuga, "And you?"

The boy stayed quiet for a moment, and finally sighed, "My name is Hyuuga Hizashi. I like choices, and playing, ahem, beating people at shogi. I dislike the main Hyuuga family," He glared daggers at his brother, who scooted farther away from him, "death, and chocolate. My dream is to be free of the Hyuuga family's influence, and 7."

There was an awkward silence in the room after he said that. Kakashi remembered what the other pink haired girl in his dream said. "Ahh. Tsubaki? You wouldn't happen to be... er... schizophrenic, Hiashi, a loudmouth, and Hizashi... well you can tell, but an emotional wreck?"

The four stood there in mute for a minute until they all started mumbling amongst each other. They finally glared at their sensei, "No."

"Alright!" The Jonin backed off. 'What did I do when I became a Genin? Err intro, check. Ah, yes, the bell training. That reminds me, I still hate you sensei for leaving me tied to that log.'

"Okay!" Kakashi clapped his hands to regain the kid's attention, "report to me at training ground seven tomorrow morning at... say 5 a.m.?" He walked over to the window, "Oh! And don't eat breakfast. You'll throw up, trust me." He jumped out the window, leaving the Genin-to-be with more questions than answers.

Finally one of them spoke up, "You know," it was the Hanaro girl, "he didn't tell us anything about him..."

Hiashi just sighed and shrugged, "What can you do?"

---------

**Next Time: Byakugan Vs Bells**

Hizashi/Hiashi: Damn it! Why can't we get those bells from Sensei?

Tsubaki: Baka! Maybe we should try working together!

Hiashi: Did you here something?

Hizashi: It must be Sensei! Be on your guard!

Tsubaki: -walks up to Kakashi, kicks his ass, and takes the bells- You two are really incompetent. Now, I get two lunches!

C.L.E.FireBreathingChinchillas: Hay, can I have one of those?

Tsubaki: Since you're the very reason I exist, yeah sure.-hands lunch-

Kakashi: Eh. You shared with someone so, you all pass!

Hizashi/Hiashi: You won't tell dad about this will you?

C.L.E.FireBreathingChinchillas/Kakashi: Maybe...

C.L.E.FireBreathingChinchillas: Honestly, I think that's up to me!**

* * *

****FYI:**

1: Rin **WILL** Fit into the plot somehow... eventually... probably when you all forget about her.

2: (in case you haven't figured it out yet) Tsubaki Is Sakura's mom, Hizashi is Neji's dad, and Hiashi is Hinata's dad.

3: Just so you know Tsubaki means 'camellia flower.' Since Sakura was a flower I supposed Her mom should have a flowery name too.

4: I'm planning on having a sub-plot with some other people's parents.


	2. Bayakugan Vs Bells

**This story's out of the timeline... That really sucks... I'm sorry peoples.**

_Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would have a ranch of "emotionally challenged" alpacas. I don't, therefore I couldn't possibly own Naruto._

**Chapter 2: Byakugan Vs Bells**

'Beep, beep, beep, bee- CRASH' These were the typical sounds of Tsubaki's early mornings. She slugged herself out of bed, and evidently ended up collapsing on the floor. "I... hate... early... mornings." Tsubaki, after going through a series of mental conflicts, pulled herself up, regained her composure, and walked over to her stairs. She jumped onto her stair's railing and slid down, "Ally-oup!"

The pink obsessed girl saw her mother cleaning dishes in the kitchen, "Tsubaki? What are you doing up so early?"

Tsubaki grunted and said in that all knowing way that people like her do, "I have my Genin entrance exam this morning. Kakashi sensei told us to be there at 5 am."

Her mom looked at her and nodded, "Alright then. Just eat my breakfast then. I'll just make another for me later."

Tsubaki just shook her head, "Nope. no breakfast. Sensei says I'll throw up." The pink haired twelve year old grabbed her backpack, jumped out the window, and leapt to the rooftops.

Tsubaki's mother went back to washing the dishes. 'I need to get her out of that habit. Someday, she's going to run into a closed window.' Suddenly outside she heard screaming, breaking glass, and a load of cursing.

------

Quite the contrary was for the Hyuuga brothers. They were already at the training grounds... two hours earlier. Finally one of them spoke up, it was Hiashi, "Brother? Why did we have to come so early? Obviously, Sensei isn't going to show up early."

The meditating Hizashi laughed, "Because you don't like early mornings."

"Are you aware of how much I hate you?" Growled Hiashi.

"Quite... we should make a plan against Kakashi-sensei."

"Why? You aren't conspiring against him are you?!"

Hizashi stopped meditating, "No! Our Genin entrance exam is something called 'bell training.' We supposedly have to be able to get a bell away from him. And him being a Jonin, this will be hard." Hizashi started meditating.

"Okay you think, and I'll go back to what I was doing." Hiashi whispered sarcastically. Surprisingly Hizashi nodded in agreement. 'Moron, needs to learn about sarcasm.' Hiashi, so wonderfully, thought. After about fifteen minutes of pulling grass out of the ground, he sat up and said, " Brother. I'm going to explore the terrain. I'll be back in twenty minutes."

"Good idea. I'll sit here and continue _thinking_." The _thinking_ one said. Hiashi, unaware of the emphases on 'thinking', jumped off.

As soon as Hizashi knew his sidekick brother was gone, he pulled out a book from his backpack. After checking his surroundings for his teammate, he opened the book and started blushing. He had this creepy grin spread across his face, that if you saw you would probably knock him out on the spot.

------

Hiashi jumped from tree to tree, surveying the terrain. Suddenly a thought hit him, _'If all we have to do is get some bells, then I'll just get some from the store. I'll be sure to get one for Tsubaki too.'_ With that, Hiashi ran off tho the store.

"What do you mean I can't buy any bells?!?" Haishi Screamed in protest.

"Well, It looks to me like you're trying to cheat on your Genin entrance exam." A oddly hefty man said in a comicly high voice. Hiashi didn't move, but instead yelled at the buff man until he was forced to call security.

As Hiashi was grabbed by several guards, "Do you know who I am!?! I'm the Hyuuga Hair! You can't do this! You'll pay for this!" Haishi ranted as he was thrown out of the store. He sat in the street for a few seconds, taken aback that what he said didn't work. "Damn that should have worked! I guess I'm going to have to actually **work** to pass this test." He looked at his watch, "Shit! I've been out for an hour and a half! I better get back to the grounds!" He ran to the training grounds.

------

Hizashi was still at the training grounds reading his perverted book, Make-Out Paradise. Almost mysticly, Kakashi came out of the forest, and immediately saw what Hizashi was reading, "So. You like that series too?" Hizashi jumped at the sudden sound, and quickly hid his book.

"G-good morning Kakashi-Sensei!" Hizashi gasped hesitantly.

"There's no need to hide what you were reading. I read the same series," Kakashi pulled a book out of his back 'kunai' pouch, "See?"

Hizashi looked relieved, and went back to reading his book, "That's a relief. I took this from my dad' s bookshelf, and I ended up liking it."

Conveniently, Tsubaki was walking up the grounds just as this conversation was taking place, "Wow. You guys are serious perverts. Jeez! You're like what," She yawned, "twelve...? Hay? Where's Hiashi?"

"You're asking where I am?" Hiashi jumped down from one of the dozens of trees in the area, "I'm still getting over the fact he has something in common with sensei!" He stumbled a bit.

Kakashi put his book away, and mumbled, "Right when it was getting good," He sighed, "Okay! Now that we're all here, we'll start your test." Kakashi pulled out a timer and two bells from his pocket, "You have until noon to get these bells from me, and-"

He was cut off by Hizashi, "We all know what to do. We have to get those bells from you, and the one that can't get's tied to the log. The ones that get the bell get a boxed lunch, but the other one can't be fed any of our food. But really we're **supposed** to give them food to work like a team... and crazy crap happens. Duh." Hizashi, in pride, smiled as a rare occasion.

Kakashi glared at him for revealing the catch to his test, "Fine. Do that. But don't assume it'll be easy! You have to come at me with the intent to kill!" He walked about ten feet away from them, "Okay. **Begin**!" And he disappeared in to a puff of smoke.

Tsubaki, Hizashi, and Hiashi gathered in a circle and started planning. In hushed voices, they all started talking, "I have a plan. We'll first..." They started to talk so quietly that Kakashi couldn't hear from a safe distance.

'_So. They know about my acute sense of hearing. Smart ones.'_ Kakashi prepared for any plan of attack.

But the one thing he didn't plan for was exactly what happened next, Hiashi said one comment about Tsubaki's plan that set everything in motion, "That plan's stupid. It won't work against a Jonin."

Tsubaki's pride seemed to shatter, "If you don't like my plan then you can just starve! Come on Hizashi!"

Hizashi sweat-dropped, "I'd rather stay out of this. I mean that plan seams kind of... well... inefficient." Realizing he had just gotten involved, he shrank and submitted to Tsubaki's bad temper.

"Well I bet you guys can surely come up with a plan that works... without me!" With that Tsubaki stormed off. Well, not before bashing the two on the head.

Hiashi finally spoke up, "So are you with me?"

Hizashi sarcasticly laughed, "In your dreams." And he walked off rubbing his head.

As soon as they all had retreated to their positions Tsubaki pressed her fingers against her ear, "Stage one set. Move onto Stage two. Triangulate, and find Kakashi."

Only a few minutes later Tsubaki found Kakashi, "I've got him! Proceed to the east side of the lake."

Two sketchy voices sounded on her radio transmitter, "We'll be there in two minutes. Continue following Kakashi. Wait for our signal."

Tsubaki followed their sensei until she heard the signal from her team mates. Two seconds and she jumped in for the kill, "Kiyaa!!" The girl kicked at Kakashi from the left, to the right, only to be blocked by Kakashi's superior Taijutsu skills. Unknown to Kakashi, she was making hand signs. All that was going on in her mind was, _'Kick left, rabbit, snake, kick right, dog, monkey, punch left, half-tiger'_

"Elemental Style: Tsubaki Blitz!!" Out of the half-tiger hand sign, she breathed a onslaught of various elements at her teacher, driving him closer, and closer to the lake.

Kakashi, unaware of the fate that beheld him only a few feet away, jumped back with every shot fired at him. In a matter of seconds he was met by two gentle fist attacks to his back. The masked Jonin stumbled, out of a few more attacks, until Hiashi pinned his shirt to a tree with multiple kunai. Kakashi was only stuck to the tree for five seconds, at most, but still enough time for the kids to get the bells from their sensei.

"We win!" Hiashi congratulated himself.

"Actually," Kakashi pointed at the other two of his students, "**they** win. You get tied to a log." The Jonin smiled under his mask.

------

Kakashi, Hizashi, and Tsubaki were all siting in a circle eating, tauntingly.

"Tsubaki? Can I have some food?" Hiashi pleaded from his tied up position on the log.

"No. You can't have any of my food because I'm a selfish greedy person," she glowered at him for a few seconds, "Yes. Hizashi would you do the honors?"

Hizashi groaned, "Okay. Open up brother." He grinned a maniacal smile, and shoved a spoonful of rice down his throat.

Hiashi choked on his food, and was starting to change colors. Hizashi pulled the spoon out of the bound child's mouth, and Hiashi returned to his normal color, "Help me! He's not afraid to kill me like this!"

"Well **now** I'm not." The evil, evil twin said as he stuffed another spoonful of food into his sibling's mouth, and strutted off to sit with Kakashi.

Tsubaki pulled the spoon out of the gagged Hiashi's mouth, and immediately he gasped, "I'm telling Father about this!"

That is what made Hizashi stop in his tracks, "Father won't listen. If he does he won't beleave." He twitched.

Kakashi, completely unaware of the situation, finished off the last of his food, and announced to his students, "Okay. You guys pass. You worked like a team, you helped the guy tied to the log, and you all have your own cool talents, that don't even compare to mine. You guys go hang out for the next day or two until I get a good mission for us. In fact I'll treat you to some ramen."

Hiashi sighed, "I'm sorry sensei. I can't, I said I would hang out with Shikaku, Chouza, and Inoichi."

"They are such a bad influence on you!" Hizashi ranted.

"And Dad's book is a bad influence on you." His brother responded.

Kakashi stepped between the two boys, "Can you two stop fighting? You two act like you want to kill eachother!"

Hiashi laughed, "But I do sometimes."

The other twin folded his arms, "The feeling's mutual."

Kakashi groaned, "We have a lot to work out between you two." He turned to Tsubaki, "You can go... do stuff, go play with snakes or something." And with that he waved her away. After a few seconds of just standing there, he realised what he said was too perverted for a K rated fanfiction, and the author had to change he rating. Damn it Kakashi!

"Kakashi-sensei? Can I go? I promised I'd meet them at the Ramen bar!" Hiashi whined.

"No. I'm going to make you two do a different Genin test. You are going to get along, or I'll be forced to send you back to the academy. When teammates fight, **people** **die**!" Kakashi handcuffed The two boys together, "If this doesn't work, nothing will. Good luck!" Their sensei jumped off, leaving the two boys alone.

"Does this mean I have to sleep with you?"

Hiashi was only met with a sad Hazashi, "Yes, yes it does. God, just kill me now."

------

**Chapter 3: Bound By Fate... And Handcuffs**

**Hiashi:** We have to sleep together? Oh the Fan Fictions people will write of us!

**Hizashi:** People! We are not gay!

**Kakashi:** That won't stop them you know.

**Hiashi/Hizashi:** Yeah, we know... we know...

**Tsubaki:** Hay!?! Am I even in the next chapter?!

**C.L.E.FirebreathingChinchillas:** Fine. This Is where the sub-plot will begin!!

**Background Characters: **-cheers-

**C.L.E.FirebreathingChinchillas:** Shut up, most of you don't even have lines!

**Background Characters: **Okay


	3. Bound By Fate, And Handcuffs

**Sorry If my grammar... well... sucks! I'm not good with that kind of thing.**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! If I did It would be the #1 anime in Canada. Canadians eh?_

**Chapter 3:Bound by Fate, and Handcuffs**

Hiashi pulled on his side of the handcuffs, "We're going to the Ramen bar!"

Hizashi did the same, but in the other direction, "No. Father said I have to be home right after the Genin test."

After a few minutes of the duo attempting to drag each other to where they were going, one of them decided that they needed a compromise, "Fine. We'll go home," the other grinned in satisfaction, "But after we go to the Ramen bar to tell my friends that I can't eat with them. Happy?"

Hizashi groaned, "Fine but we'll have to be quick."

They tried to jump off together, but quickly fell face first on the ground. They tried again with the same results. "Damn! This isn't working! We have to work together!"

"It's because you jump the wrong way!"

"I jump perfectly fine! _You_ are the one that jumps wrong!"

The pointless argument went on like this for quite a while, until one of them said, "Stop! Let's just walk. We'll get to jumping later."

"But walking takes forever!" whined Hiashi.

Hizashi whacked him on the head and dragged him along.

------

Tsubaki had just arrived at the ramen bar when she caught sight of Shikaku, Chouza, and Inoichi. She started walking towards them, and when Shikaku was in speaking distance he sighed, "Where's your team?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Tsubaki scratched the back of her head, " Kakashi-sensei made them stay behind."

"How troublesome. Well do you mind if we brought some other teams with us?" He stepped aside revealing several other teams, including the emo-Uchiha, Masuki's team.

Tsubaki walked closer to Shikaku, and whispered to him,"Why did you bring the emo kid?!?"

"He was being troublesome. He would glare at me until I burst into flames if I didn't let him come!"

'_I had no idea Shikaku used sentences like that. Usualy he thinks it's 'too troublesome.' The Uchiha must really have wanted to come.'_

Chouza waved a hand in front of Tsubaki's face, "Tsubaki? You okay? Come on, let's eat!"

Tsubaki was snapped out of her trance, "Is food all you think about? Jeez Chouza."

Inoichi stepped up to Chouza, "Don't take it personally. She insults everyone, every chance she gets. God, if I ever have a kid, they will never hang out with anyone like her" Chouza seemed to lighten up.

------

Hiashi, and Hizashi were by now walking in perfect unison. They had attempted running, resulting in several cuts where their handcuffs were.

Finally breaking the eery silence Hiashi grumbled, "I hate Kakashi-sensei. Now I have to be stuck with you. I hate you." He was just met with silence, "Are you even listening to me!?!"

"No."

The only sound from then on was the jingling of the handcuffs.

Hiashi finally spoke up, "You're a real pain you know. You can't even bother with some conversation. That's the entire point of this. We're supposed to get along."

"You can't do what's impossible."

"You always do that. Whenever someone knows something you don't, you just make some snotty remark. Even with that Byakugan of yours, you're still blind."

Hizashi walked along in silence. He was thinking about what his brother had said. "You're right."

Hiashi was shocked, no electrocuted, by what his sibling had said, _'did he just admit defeat? I won? He said it. I was right!'_

"I-I win?" Hiashi stuttered.

"No," Hizashi looked at his brother, "but you were right. We do have to get along."

They looked at each other in silence. Almost instantly, the moment was ruined by Tsubaki, unaware of the handcuffs, jumping between them, thus pulling all of them to the ground.

"Hey? You guys got handcuffed together! Did sensei do this?" Tsubaki giggled.

They nodded, "He handcuffed us together so we would get along. When we find him..." They were talking in perfect unison, as if they were thinking the exact same thing.

"That was just plain freakish! What kind of weird thing was that?" The voice came from one of the other Genin. A brown haired boy was standing on the rooftops, along with a small, extremely docile-looking, brown dog. The kid was wearing a grey jacket, and had red triangle marks on his cheeks.

Hiashi, offended by this moron tried jumping at him, failing horribly. The boy on the roof laughed, and jumped down followed by his dog, "Ha! You two got yourselves handcuffed together? Wow! What threatening ninja!" He rolled his eyes.

Hizashi looked at his kin, and they grinned manically, "Kick his ass?"

"Hell yeah!"

They made a hand sign with each other's free hands, and shouted, "Byakugan!"

The rugged dog- boy faltered, "Gyaah! You two are the Hyuuga boys?!?Aww shit!"

One of the white eyed boys gave him the signature Hyuuga Clan glare, "Really? You noticed? What gave it away? The white eyes or the clan symbol on our shirts?"

Suddenly the belligerent (Look it up!) Boy fell over unconscious, "Cha! Bad dog-boy! Bad, bad dog-boy!" Standing behind where he was standing, was Tsubaki.

The sibling's Byakugans receded, and they stood up together, "Okay! Ramen time!"

The three left the heap of the cocky boy to be licked back to consciousness by his little brown dog.

------

Tsubaki, Hizashi, and Hiashi finally got back to the ramen bar, only to be greeted with empty ramen bowls.

Several curses, insults, and a few punches were passed around by Tsubaki, Chouza, Hiashi, Shikaku, and Inoichi.

"What the hell, Chouza?" Gawked Tsubaki.

"Maybe Chouza didn't eat your food. Maybe I did!" Inoichi defended Chouza.

"Come on Inoichi! You hardly eat anyways!" Hiashi subconsciously yelled.

"Yeah! You're like freaking anorexic!" one of the other kunoichi shouted from next to them. It was an Uchiha.

"Are you that emo- kid's sister?" Inoichi questioned her.

"Cousin... niece...err... I'm related to him somehow! Why?"

Everyone that was fighting groaned in a slightly monotonous voice, "We hate him."

"Well no wonder he's like that! The rest of the clan, excluding me and a few others, completely ignore his existence!"

Hizashi, who was completely forgotten by everyone else, finally said something, "Why? Did he do something wrong? Do they _fear_ him?"

The Uchiha girl laughed, "Haha! Fear? Uchiha's fear nothing! Especially not someone who can't even do a simple fireball!"

Hiashi looked away, and felt a pain in his chest. He could relate to Masuki, his family never acknowledged him very much. When he greeted his family members he was just met with an eerie silence from them. (actually when you think about it, Hyuugas don't talk much anyways) The only one ever to notice him was his brother. Yet somehow, despite the rejection from his family, he made friends. These friends were more like a family than anyone else.

"Hay! Kid? You okay?"

Hiashi realized that the whole time he was in thought he had a blank, empty look on his face. Which in turn made him look very dense. "God! You Uchihas are so cocky! You shun someone because they're at a normal person's standards. You hate them because they're average."

The Uchiha girl was appalled by what Hiashi said. No one has ever insulted an Uchiha, to their face at least. Uchihas are known to be quick and easy to anger.

The girl twitched, "W-what the h-hell did you just say?!?"

Hiashi smirked, "I said-"

He was cut off by the other end of the handcuffs, "He said '**Uchiha's are cocky,** Self centered bastards! Do you have a problem with that?"

The raven haired girl snapped, and lashed out at both of them, "Gayaah!" She jumped at them in madness.

Hiashi stepped out of the way, pulling Hizashi with him, "Come on! Work with me here!"

Hizashi, upset about not being the leader, sighed, "Fine, but I get to lead next time!"

They activated their byakugan, and took the typical 'Neji stance'. Their palms started glowing, and the Uchiha girl (along with the rest of the tri-city area) grew a terrified look on their faces.

Hiashi questioned himself, "Will this work? I mean no one's ever tried t-"

"Don't doubt yourself. Just... just," Hizashi was rarely short of words, "believe it!"

Hiashi blinked, _'My god! Did he just say believe it? What is he smoking?'_

The black eyed Uchiha girl was petrified with fear, "What?!? you guys are going to try a double 32 half trigram palm with a 180 degree front flip and a double Healy!?!"

Hiashi had a dazed look on his face, "Are we still speaking of attacks here?"

While Hiashi was questioning the author's choice of colorful vocabulary, the girl had jumped between the boys with a kunai, breaking the handcuffs. The impact on their bonds forced them to fall backwards.

It was at that moment that they realized they were being watched by all of the Genin, excluding Chouza, who was devouring everyone's food.

Hiashi laughed.

"What the hell are you laughing about?!? I just kicked your Hyuuga ass!"

Hizashi realized they weren't connected by handcuffs anymore. He realized that the impact from the kunai caused them to break, and started laughing hysterically.

"What's with them? I wiped the floor with them..." the girl scratched her head, "and they're laughing? Damn, you Hyuugas are strange."

Hizashi tried to get a word through his laughter, "No... No... Our h-handc-cuffs! W-we were so stupid!"

Hiashi finished his sibling's statement, "We could have c-cut the h-handcuffs the whole t-t-time!"

The black haired girl was slowly seeing red as the brothers were occupied with their odd sense of humor. She pulled out an explosive tag, and attached it to a kunai.

Hiashi shrieked like a five year old girl as he shut his eyes in fear of dying a fiery death. Just when he became a Genin,_'Damn! I don't want to die! I'm twelve, the heir of my clan, and I haven't eaten a real meal since yesterday! I can't die on an empty stomach!'_

Despite his expectations, Hiashi was never blown up in a fervent burst of flames. When he opened his eyes Kakashi was sitting on top of a stunned Genin, His brother and Tsubaki standing next to him.

"Hay kidd-o. I guess you guys passed." Kakashi was smiling under his mask, "You **were** supposed to break the handcuffs, but getting along works better."

Hizashi glowered his sensei,_ 'And to think, the whole time we thought that was what we were supposed to do... the test was as simple as breaking the handcuffs.'_

Kakashi went on, despite Hizashi's eerily blank look, "...for a ninja must look beneath the beneath. Hizashi! Are you listening to me?"

"What? Err... not really."

The masked kid sighed, "**I said** 'a ninja must look beneath the beneath!' Jeez. What goes on in your head?"

The entire time his master was speaking, Hizashi was thinking about a monkey with a chainsaw chasing after his father, and mumbled, "... yes... run father. Run from the monkey, from your fate..."

The rest of his team were staring at him, "What the hell are you talking about?" they said in unison.

"Oh nothing that you'd be involved in, or should know about! Especially not you Tsubaki..."

Tsubaki shrugged, "Eh. Okay."

The other two followed his example and started mumbling to each other about monkeys and other various random topics as they walked into the sunrise.

"Holy crap. It's morning already?!" Gasped one of the unimportant, background Genin.

Whops! I mean they walked into the sun**set** together.

Kakashi snapped his fingers, "Oh yeah! I almost forgot to tell you! I found a mission for you guys! It's a B-rank mission. Since we're in war and all, we need all the help we can get! We're going right into the battlefield! Doesn't that sound fun?!?"

The three twelve year old Genin stood there speechless, gawking at what their sensei had said.

Bliss little Kakashi smiled and waved, "Well, guys, this was fun, but I have to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow. We need to meet at 5:30pm at the Hokage's office." With that the Jonin left his aphasic students to recover.

Hizashi sighed, and said what everyone least expected him to say, "Damn..."

------

**Next Time:** Lucky Cherry Blossoms

**Chinchillas:** WOW! You actualy stayed with me for 3 chapters? I would have thought Tsubaki would have driven you off by now!

**Tsubaki:**-pours burning tea on Chinchillas-

**Hiashi: **Chinchillas says, 'If it sounds rushed, well, it was. So leave me to cut myself in the corner.'

**Masuki:** I find Emo jokes offensive.

**Hiashi:** And you are?

**Masuki:** The 'Emo-Uchiha!' You know the guy who's name was only said once.

**Hizashi:** Atleast your name was said. The Uchiha girl, you know the one with more lines than you. Her name wasn't mentioned once.

**Kakashi:** Hey sorry I was late. There was this monkey with a chainsaw chasing Mr. Hyuuga, and-

**Tsubaki:** That's a lie!!

**Hizashi:** -mumbling- Hehe. No it isn't...

**Everyone:** You say something Hizashi?

**Hizashi:** Nope! You? What? Stop questioning me!!

**Chinchillas:** -recovers from burns- YOU DIE FIRST TSUBAKI!!!

**Tsubaki:** I can't die. I'm a main character, Though I can leave for 200 episodes like Sasu- Ahem! Never mind!

**Chinchillas:** Next time, we'll have Masuki, Shikaku, Chouza, and Whoever the hell TenTen's mom is(Yes she looks like a panda too.), Guest Starring! I just realized something... TenTen has less lines than Mogi... You know, Mogi...You don't? And yet you know Tenten... Interesting

**Masuki:** TenTen's not born yet, and besides, TenTen's future mom's name is-

**Everyone:** Shut up! You're a sub-secondary-hardly-important-lesser-character! You aren't supposed to do anything important! Just like poor TenTen. See You Next Time! Bah Humbug A Konaha!

**Chinchillas:** ... I need to stop reading that damn 'A Christmas Carol' book.


	4. Kakashi's Bad Sense Of Time

_**Disclaimer: Not even gonna try, you blood sucking, son of a leech lawyers.**_

**Note:** This is just a filler Chapter. Skip at your leisure.

"**Chapter"..umm... 4?: Kakashi's "Bad"(a.k.a. Horribly Suck-ish) Sense of Time**  
(Holy crap, that's a long title!)

Silence drifted in the air of the Hokage's office. No one spoke as the town's elders looked down upon the young Genin. Not a sound was heard... save for the snoring of Chouza.

If you must know, it was precisely 6:10:21:003pm in Konaha, and not a single Jonin, Genin, or random background civilian had seen the son of the white fang, Kakashi, and there are _a lot_ of random background citizens.

Tsubaki couldn't stand it anymore. She had to break something, hurt someone, do **some**thing! She pulled out a kunai and began to edge slowly towards Hizashi.

"Ah- Ah- Ah, Tsubaki." The oldest council member opened one eye from her meditative sleep, "Don't hurt him. No matter how much the voices in your head tell you to."

Tsubaki quickly poked Hizashi with her kunai, "Too late! I'm sorry Very Old Council Lady-Sama!"

'Very Old Council Lady-Sama' spoke slowly and in a deep, _boring _voice, "You should not deny your elders, Tsubaki."

The pink haired kunoichi bowed, "Very Old Council Lady-Sama, you told me also that I should not deny myself, and the voices in my head are part of myself, therefore-"

Inoichi slapped Tsubaki on the back of her head, "Just shut your trap, Tsubaki!"

Shikaku put his hand on his anorexic friend's back, "Chill. She's a girl, _she might cry_." He smirked.

Tsubaki pulled out a _few _(seven) kunai, "Oh, I'll make **you** cry!"

The youngest council member, an 18 year old Hyuuga, stuttered, "C-can we please stop w-with the fighting?" But the fighting continued... big surprise.

Chouza stepped between the rivaling groups, "Hey girl! Stop gettin' up in our grill, yo!"

Everyone blinked.

"Do that again and I'll shove a steel-toed **boot** up in your grill"

"Why you gotta be so harsh, girl?"

Tsubaki gritted her teeth, "That's it!" The teenage girl with abnormal amounts testosterone -cough-ArtificialMaleHormones-cough- took off one of her steel toed boots.

"Hey! Shut up!"

Every single person in the room stopped fighting, and a pink steel toed boot fell out of Chouza's mouth.

A girl in a brown tank top stood in the doorway. She too was wearing steel toed boots. Oh, and she looked like a friggn panda stuck in a human girl's body..

"Hey! Tenten's Mom!"

The girl glared, "Will you people stop calling me that!!"

Tsubaki giggled, "But this is the **_English dub_** version of _'The Original Team Kakashi!'_ The dubbing staff never bothered to give you a _name_! Because it was only ment to be said out loud twice."

"This can't be a dub. There's not even a Japanese version."

Tsubaki crossed her arms and smirked, "That's what the kids that watched _'Poke'mon'_ thought."

Tenten's future mom was puzzled, "But there isn't a Japanese version of _'Poke'mon'_..."

All but Hizashi laughed, "Poor, poor child."

"I'm telling you, there's no Japanese version of _'P_-"

"Yo!" A white haired kid stood in the doorway, "Am I late?"

Hizashi fumed angry bellows of steam, smoke, and other various fumes, "Late? LATE?! You make me wait in this **stupid** room, with these **stupid **people," Hizashi gestured _violently_ to the people in the room, "and you ask if you're LATE?!"

"Sorry," Kakashi tapped his non-existent watch, "I lost track of time."

Hizashi painfully resisted strangling his mentor.

An Emo duck-butt hair style sat on a boy standing in the doorway. "Alright. Can we stop with the filler crap?"

Tsubaki hit Masuki on his back in a playful manner, " Hello, Masuki!"

"Please don't touch me, I don't like girls...err... yet!!" Hiashi and Hizashi edged away from Masuki.

Tsubaki poked Masuki who, in turn, started to panic. She poked him again and he hid under the rug in the middle of the room.

Tsubaki was getting ready to poke him again when Kakashi put his hand on her shoulder, "Tsubaki... you... are very insensitive."

Tsubaki smiled, "Cool! Can we go now? This filler stuff is giving me a headache."

Kakashi nodded, "Yeah. We'll leave in an hour."

Hizashi's nose twitched, "_No_. We are leaving **NOW!!**"

The young sensei backed off from his student, "Fine! Fine! We'll be at Konaha Gate next chapter! Shesh."

**Chinchillas:** Thaaat's right! This was just a filler episode! It was all played with puppets! The real characters are on an extended vacation!

**Masuki:** I'm not on vacation.

**Chinchillas: **You haven't _earned_ your vacation, yet.

**Masuki:** But I've had more screen time then Tenten's mom.

**Kakashi Puppet:**Yeah... but... you're Emo so you wouldn't go on the vacation anyways.

**Masuki:** Oh. Yeah... that makes sense... I guess. So am I in the next episode?

**Kakashi Puppet:**Well... Oh, look! I've got a call from Tsubaki! -picks up phone- It's for you, Chinchillas. Put it on speaker phone.

**Chinchillas:**Umm... Hello? I thought that I didn't have to see, speak, or listen to you for another month or so.

**Tsubaki:**Nice hearing from you again too. Umm... you weren't planning on having Tenten's mom in the next chapter, right?

**Chinchillas:** Well we were... but- Wait, why?

**Hiashi:**She got turned into an F-ing Zombie!

**Hizashi: **-background- Get back, undead mother of a panda!

**Chinchillas:**I see your situation... Alright, assess the situation properly. Meaning, Chop her head off Motha Fuckkas!

**Tsubaki:** Can we set her on fire first?

**Kakashi Puppet:** What are you? A Pyromaniac?

**Masuki:**But then how will Tenten be born?

**Kakashi Puppet:**I think it's time you learn of the birds and the bees, Masuki.

**Masuki:** That's not what I-

**Chinchillas: -**clap-Alright! See you next time in...?... Oh crap! Where's the title?

**Chouza Puppet:** -Burp-


End file.
